I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
