does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
