I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
