She's JV to your varsity
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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