That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
