I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
