Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
