I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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