Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
