Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
