Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Actions speak louder than pants.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
