i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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