I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
