I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
