Is it because I queefed?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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