Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
