I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
