Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
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