Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
