Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
