Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I will pee on everything he values.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
