ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
