I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
