i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
