dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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