I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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