dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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