why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize