Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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