i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
