he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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