Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
