im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
