He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This is my gift to your gina
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
