she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
