i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
