Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
