Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
