I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you mean i was at the winter classic?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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