on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
