I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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