Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
