this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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