I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
