like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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