I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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