Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
