put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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