So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
my poor anus
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
