she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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