Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
