I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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