She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
