tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
