There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
