that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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